In our daily routine, all of us come across at least one person who grates on our nerves. Especially at the workplace, there is one such annoying person who proves to be the toxic coworker. Whenever you come across that colleague you feel a knot in the stomach as he/she constantly keeps on criticizing things and always has something to demoralize you. The bitter reality of life is that you can’t be lifelong friends with everyone you meet and hence there is always one such person whom you wish to be disappeared forever. But the fact is that you have to meet that person every now and then. Hence you should think of ways to manage such a toxic coworker at your favorite workplace. Dr. Jenny Brockis, a medical practitioner and the founder of Brainfit said:
“Managing toxic people can be tricky. Much as you may long for the day they get transferred or leave the country, in the interim you’re stuck and if having to change your role or job isn’t an option then it’s going to be all about managing your level of reactivity. Choose to respond instead.”
Here are some of the ways to get along with such a cranky and toxic coworker.
Pretending to like someone you really don’t like never works in a positive way. The best way to get rid of the lousy behavior of your coworker is to tell him/her nicely that how their actions are making you sick.
Rowdy McLean, international keynote speaker, business and leadership consultant said:
“If there’s someone at work you really don’t like, you should never try to pretend that you do. False behavior is worse than not liking someone. You should make it clear that they are not your cup of tea and why and then agree to get the job done. If you let the personality clash affect your work, you both lose.”
2.Check your own behavior to make a change
If you are being annoyed by someone constantly, go get a look at your own behavior to find out if this is a reaction to your own behavior with them.
“If you find you really don’t like a lot of the people you work with, maybe check in with how you show up before you are critical of how they show up.” McLean Said.
When someone is pushing your buttons try to diffuse your response as being angry at the workplace is never a good idea. Check what is triggering you constantly and try to settle the matters with conversation.
“If you can pause and get a grip on your adrenaline pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain, you’ll be better able to have a conversation and to skip over the judgment,” says Los Angeles, California-based conflict consultant Kathleen Bartle
3.Find some good qualities in your coworker
Thinking only about the negative qualities of a person will make you hate him more. Change your strategy and start counting the good qualities in your so-called toxic coworker. There must be some good qualities of him/her which you are ignoring in your hatred.
“If you believe people are dishonest, hard to get along with, cranky, unreasonable, bitter and twisted, there’s a good chance that’s how people will show up. If you believe people are doing the best they can, trying hard, making an effort and fairly easy to get along with, there is a pretty good chance they will be that way,” McLean said.
D.H. Lawrence once wrote, “In every living thing there is the desire for love.”
It might be that developing a close relationship with your annoying coworker solves your problem for good. Sometimes people disturb others just to seek attention. Extending a hand in friendship can help you work out what you don’t like in your colleague.
“Let the rest of the office see them as the bad person in the scenario. Be the first to say hello, look for ways to engage with them; chances are this will not be the first or last time you have to do this, so learn to get good at it,” McLean said.
5.Avoid gossiping and report as a last resort
No one likes to be called a tattletale in the workplace. But, if after all your efforts your coworker still remains the same cranky fellow, just report his/her behavior to the authorities. Engaging in snarky gossips with other coworkers about his behavior is not a good option. It will hurt not only him/her but will also affect your reputation. Use a professional tone to explain how the behavior of your coworker is affecting your work and in turn the organization. Perhaps an intervention from the boss is needed to change the behavior and help you get rid of the daily depression.
In the big world of work, we often meet the super annoying type of colleague who goes out of the way to make our workday the worst. But instead of getting it on nerves, we should find ways to get along with such toxic coworker.